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I wear a Tahari suit so Mike thinks I'm used to making more money than he
could imagine paying me. Then I sit down across from him and speak in vague terms
to try to figure out how much he can imagine paying me. I use inviting body language and I don't look to the right when I lie because it is clinically proven that people look to the right when they lie. I look to the left when I say I've written business plans as a consultant. I don't back down on bonus structure because I read in the Wall Street Journal that women's salaries at the executive level are lower than men's because women don't bargain hard for bonuses and equity. I am braced for equity. I called everyone I know to find out how much I should get. No one had any idea. Mike says, "If the company has sixty million in revenue in five years, then I'll earn $400,000 in equity." I am not sure what that means, but I imagine it will be good to have $400,000 so that the next time I fuck up my job so much that I don't have one, at least I won't have to borrow money from Tano.
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